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It's all a load of bollocks, quite frankly

Blow Compare

Now, I’ve made it no secret that I really hate the Go Compare adverts. However, as a friend of mine pointed out, they got the brand noticed. Every Tom, Dick, Harry, James, John, Frederick, Arthur and indeed Brian knows it. However, I’m not interested in that. I’m interested in the new advert and the supposed controversy that surrounds it. Warning, though, this blog contains recycled Facebook statuses! Shock! Horror!

The story line of the advert, if an advert could have such a thing, is the Go Compare tuss goes around singing the Go Compare shiz to this stricken couple outside their residence. Every so often the camera view pans across to a crosshair aiming at the aforementioned tuss. As the advert progresses, the area of ground that tuss is standing on is blown up by a bazooka, which, as it turns out, has been fired by Sue Barker. Yeah, ‘er off the tennis. Personally, I thought “great, that’s that fucker over and done with.” Clearly, not everyone agrees with me because forty three people have complained about this. Yes, forty three out of Lord alone knows how many millions, but that’s serious stuff! And because of those forty three people, some action has to be taken. Why have these people complained? Because they’ve been offended, that’s why!

Can you honestly believe it? Offended? Fuck off. I have only two complaints about the advert. One, the bastard survived, and secondly, why did no one have the foresight to do it fucking ages ago? If you ask me, Sue Barker and the people behind the advert haven’t done so much as offend people as performed a public service. They should be applauded for it, and I for one would love to see this as an end of this particular string of adverts. They have been running for far too long, and I’ve yet to meet someone who actually likes them. Then again, I’ve yet to meet someone who hasn’t sung “Go Compare” when the words go and compare have been spoken in that order. It’s in the bloody public psyche. I’d love to do a Men In Black special in that I save the world by erasing everyone’s memory of the damned thing. The next step is getting rid of that bouncing anaemic turd off the bloody EDF advert bouncing around to Giorgio Moroder and philip Oakey. Fuck off now, if you’d be so kind.

My other bugbear this week is the Americans remaking The Inbetweeners. I’ve said much on the subject on remakes of television programmes that I don’t need to repeat, but why do they have to go and do it again? Especially as I cannot see it working, personally. They’ve also gone and decided that a remake of the Inbetweeners film was also neccessary. Oh for the love of Monkey testicles! Leave it alone you unoriginal, stupid, idiotic, useless, plagiarising, aardvark smacking, do you want cheese with that, hateful excuses for film producers. Seems to me that they wouldn’t know an original idea if it came up to them in a high-vis jacket, some pink jewellery, a bright yellow hard hat, red boots and a huge bright green nose, bashed them over  the head with an original script of something original and said “You don’t know me, I’m an Original Idea.” For starters I’ll have Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, main course I’ll have Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr with a side order of Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, and washed down with a pint of best Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It especially won’t work as English Will talks and looks like me. My name at work is, amongst other things, Will. I’d put up pictures but I cannae be arsed. 

I saw this week someone had put a “Nurburgring” sticker on the back of their Vauxhall Astra. If, and only if, it were the VXR model I’d maybe understand. But it wasn’t. It was a boggo-standard 1.7 CDTi with plastic wheel trims, a National Trust sticker in the window and a tow hitch. The owner of this car deserves Sue Barker and a bazooka. 

Which brings me on to someone else who deserves Sue Barker and a bazooka. Bloody seller off eBay. I had ordered something four weeks ago. It showed up yesterday after the seller had presumably forgotten to send it. How do you think it arrived? No, you’re wrong. It turned up in a bloody Tesco bag, with an address label and a postage stamp. A spilt Tesco bag at that. Genius!

On a slightly sadder note, I’m saddened to hear of the loss of two great people this week. Eric Sykes, a wonderful comedian and actor has passed away and will be sorely missed. Sergio Pinninfarina has also passed away this week, one of the greatest car designers of them all and one of my heroes, as such. He was responsible for the Ferrari F40 among many, many more of my favourite cars. 

July 5, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment


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