Andrex Extra Soft Blog Roll

It's all a load of bollocks, quite frankly

Wind of change

I make no apology for pinching the title of a great Scorpions song, but a wind of change is upon me. For a start, this is the third entry I’ve written that is devoid of sarcasm or ranting. It’s also seeing me being ever so slightly wussy and soppy but for good reason I think. My two regular readers as well as myself have known it for 33 weeks. I’m going to be a dad. I’ve been more than comfortable with that concept. In fact I’ve been relishing the notion because  there’s so much to look forward to. So much to pass on, such as my love of music and cars. I have a sneaking suspicion that I may have help with this from someone. ZZ Top and American muscle cars will indeed compliment The Beatles and Italian exotica quite nicely I feel.

However, over the last month it’s really hit me hard. It’s been a strange month tarnished in sadness, frustration, love, waiting, laughter, tears, dog walking and finally happiness. If you’ve read my previous entry about the Ronald McDonald House, you’d have learnt that I nearly lost my 8 week old godson Callan – hence the sadness, tears, frustration and waiting. He’s back home now and is well on the road to recovery. Myself and Jayne basically housesat for close to two weeks which meant we got to babysit Callan’s older brother Kieran, who is just over 18 months old. And what a wonderful lad Kieran is, a testament to his parents. However I wish we got to look after him in different circumstances. Dog walking? Ah yes, they have a dog which I, well, walked.

So we’ve covered frustration, waiting, sadness and dog walking. But how about love?  And the happiness bit? Read on! What I find amazing is seeing people pull together in this sort of scenario and the amount of love and well wishing for someone who hasn’t been in this world for very long. So is reading something as simple as a heartfelt thankyou card.  Seeing Callan at home and on the mend, smiling at me when I hold him. Or when Jayne or when parents Alec and Kat hold him. I can’t explain how happy that makes me feel after seeing him weeks prior on a hospital bed with tubes coming out of him.

The fact that my son’s nursery is now pretty much complete. The decorating is done with help from Alec. The cot has been built and is located just where we want it. The wardrobe and drawer unit are in there. The nappy stacker, cot tidy, laundry bag and lamp shade are all in position. Just need the curtains and we’re done. The pram/pushchair/car seat system has arrived at the shop resplendent in its black & Ferrari red colour scheme. So the bulk of the preparation is done!

Which is just as well really as in six weeks time give or take, my wife and I will be celebrating the wind of change. The arrival of our own bundle of mischief. Though I feel he has already arrived, through experiencing his wriggles and kicks and generally responding to my voice. The amount he gets talked about by family and friends also makes it feel like he’s here already. I’m telling myself I’m not worried, I’m not nervous, that I’m just understanding just how life will change forever. If I’m totally honest I’m bricking it a little bit.

Can I do the job of dad well enough?
Am I going to be embarrassing enough? I do have a reputation to uphold.
Is a three door car going to be totally practical?
Will Jayne’s Corsa change up to fifth gear by the time he leaves school?
Will one child be enough?
Will our house fit more than one child if we decide we want more?

I’m jumping the gun a bit there on the last two, but they are things that go through your head. But what’s going through my head now? The fact that I want to be able to teach my son how to play cricket. I love the sport personally, and explaining it… well, how hard can it be? And I want him to teach me how to use my mobile phone, because I sure as hell cannot use it. The other thing that is travelling through my head at the speed of light is the knowledge of how loved he will be. That’s the second most important thing below health – end of.

I will end it with a message without sounding like a hippy or meaning to look as clichéd as a Daily Mail reporter. As it has been proven if you’ve been reading, life is precious as is time spent with those you love. Those who can’t be bothered to, don’t bother with them.

P.S. I’ve sent up a Facebook page for the Ronald McDonald House, Bristol and our fundraising efforts for it. Click here to visit it. Please join / like the page, share the link with those you know and perhaps make a donation. Thankyou.

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April 1, 2011 - Posted by | Other Stuff!

2 Comments »

  1. Bless you, you are all grown up. Dont worry about being a good dad though. You and Jayne will do fantastically, you were fantastic stand in parents to Kieran for two weeks. He still walks around saying “bye Paul, Bye Jayne, choo, choo”

    Comment by Kat | April 2, 2011 | Reply

  2. It was a joy to look after Kieran. Was a shame it was in those circumstances. I’m really touched that he goes around saying “Bye Paul bye Jayne”.

    Comment by andrexblogroll | April 8, 2011 | Reply


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