Captain Misery's Miserable Mishaps

It's all a load of bollocks, quite frankly

>Wake me up before he off roads

>Poor old George Michael, poor little soul, has had a hard time of late. Not only being arrested for some lewd acts and cruising and what not, but now he has finally been arrested and will be sent to jail.

Not that it’s taken long, he’s been had three times now for driving whilst under the influence of drug use. Stoned to you or me. That’s three times more than you or I would ever get away with and that’s what pisses me off. If we did it, we’d be put behind bars and banned from driving for 602 years. That is because we’re not famous. Unlike Georgie Boy who is famous for, other than his music, many dealings with the law. And he has the uncanny knack of getting away with it every time. Well, until now that is.

He’s going to jail. But don’t get too excited, he’s going to jail for eight weeks. Only eight weeks, for his third offence, third lot of recklessness and danger to other people, not to mention the writing off two perfectly good cars.  He was also ordered to pay a £1250 fine, £100 costs and a £15 victim surcharge. Now if you are not familiar with a victim surcharge, it’s basically a £15 levy added to any court costs and goes to the victim. So, the corner shop that George Michael drove into has been destroyed, but be rest assured the owner will receive the princely sum of £15. Yay, let’s all get stoned to celebrate. And drive into someone Else’s shop so they can get £15 to help their flourishing business.

According to the highly polished, accurate and informative news service (sorry, that should say the greatest work of fiction since Shakespeare) Gorge Michael has been banned from driving for five years, but that will no doubt be reduced to three minutes. He was also “in tears after being sentenced” and was also reported as stating “I can’t believe this has happened to me!”. Oh really, so you expect to drive whilst stoned and destroy someone’s shop and livelihood, and not expect anything to happen about it? You’re a bigger arse than I first thought.

You’re getting off (didn’t he do that before?) lightly dear boy, with your fortune you can afford those expenses and to pay £15 to Apu and his Kwik-E-Mart with consumate ease. Just think, the eight weeks will be over before you know it. It could be a lot worse. Now stop whining, crying and throwing a tantrum just because you’ve done something wrong and have to face the consequences. Get your giant egotistical head out of your arse and get on with it.

I’ll end this with a picture from one of my favourite websites Sniff Petrol. I need not say anymore. Except, sorry Sniffpetrol for plagiarising your caption for my title. Well, I’m not sorry, but I kind of needed to sound sincere. Worked, as you can see.


September 15, 2010 - Posted by | Rants

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: